Mrs. Smith's Spot

Out of my hands

2010-01-13T22:58:00.002-05:00

Sometime last April Nate and I met with an architect and dreamed to her about all the crazy things we wanted to do to our little rowhouse. At the time, we imagined that it would take a few weeks or months to get started and we imagined that by fall we would be moving into our sweet new master bedroom. I remeber one conversation we had about how we were so smart to get started when we did so that we wouldn't have our roof off in the cool Baltimore fall. Well we didn't. We didn't even a crew in our house until a few days before Christmas (you know...right around the time we got 2 feet of snow...) Our GC actually said to us "If we waited until a clear weather forecast it would probably be February." Wow. This is not how I would have planned things. And I like to plan things. And I like for things to go my way. But this process has been an exercise in patience from the beginning. We have had to wait on city beauracrats, bankers and mortgage broakers, architects, and construction crews, and weather. All along Nate and I would throw our hands up at the next delay and bump in the road and wonder if things would ever happen. But they have now. Our roof has been ripped off and suddenly there is a third and fourth floor on our house. I went back to visit and had to convince myself that it is still the same house I used to know. And of course it is a huge mess and completely uninhabitable for myself and the kids. We have camped out at the greenhouse next door to my parents just in time for Kirsten and her family to get here. Now we two sisters are under one roof for a precious few weeks and I could have not planned it better myself. God was definitely laughing at Nate and I when we had our late night conversations planning how this whole process would go! But only because he had such a great present in store for me. Living oceans apart from my sister and her family makes this cohabitation such a delight that I keep reminding myself to remember every moment of it. In the end, I guess I am glad that it doesn't all go my way.

Thankful

2009-12-06T19:54:00.003-05:00

In the past few weeks since Thanksgiving, I have been trying to think of something I am thankful for everyday. The habit has worn off on Scarlett too and every night when she says her bedtime prayers we talk about things that made her happy. A little while ago, her prayer was "Dear God, Thank you for purple. Amen" It was so sweet and sincere it still rings in my ear. There are so many huge blessings in my life to be thankful for--a great husband and kids, a house I love in a city I love, loving and supported extended family--but now I have been trying to be thankful for the small things that bring me joy. Today I am thankful for Honeycrisp apples and pandora radio. Sometimes the simplest things really are big treasures. What are you thankful for?

I tri'd

2009-08-22T10:32:00.002-05:00

Well the time has come for the Iron Girl...The race is tomorrow. Today we have to go pick up papers and set up transition areas and get bikes inspected and ask all of the questions we still have. I am already sick with nerves. I have been training so long I know that I am phisically ready for the race...but I am still not sure how it is going to go. I am pretty worried about the lake swim--somehow I can do it easily in the pool but once I am surrounded by so many others I freak out a little bit. There is a good chance that I will not finish this part of the race, and I will have to go home without a medal around my neck. But I am ok with that. I am really proud of myself for all of the work that I have put into this and feel like I have already accomplished my goal of getting into better shape and trying new things. I know that I will continue to swim and bike and run no matter what happens tommorrow. Even though I have my doubts, I am going to show up in the morning before the sun and do the very best that I can. I am going to keep my mind focused on the scriptures that I memorized and I am going to be an Iron girl regardless. If I do finish this thing, I know that it will not be because of my own strength, but because of His help!
Isaiah 45
1 "This is what the LORD says to his anointed,
to Cyrus, whose right hand I take hold of
to subdue nations before him
and to strip kings of their armor,
to open doors before him
so that gates will not be shut:

2 I will go before you
and will level the mountains [a] ;
I will break down gates of bronze
and cut through bars of iron.

3 I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

4 For the sake of Jacob my servant,
of Israel my chosen,
I summon you by name
and bestow on you a title of honor,
though you do not acknowledge me.

5 I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,

6 so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other.

Ensley's a year old!

2009-08-06T18:41:00.003-05:00

Today we celebrated Ensley's first birthday. Just to prove to me that he is a big boy, he took several steps on his own and insisted on feeding himself everything. He blew out his candle, ripped open his presents and paired up with his daddy to race his new matchbox cars on the track. Watching him be such a big boy made me proud of him and eager to see what this next year will bring. It also made me flash back to a year ago, when we first met. Just a whiff of a thing, swaddled up and asleep in my arms. I feel so blessed to have had this year with him. He is such a treasure to me--his dimpled smile, inquisitive nature and great sense of humor. As expected, I do feel like his babyhood went way too fast and I will miss dearly the time that we spent being so very close. But I am enjoying this too--this time of becoming his own little person. He's my little dude and he always will be! Happy Birthday Enny-Benny I love you!

my adventure begins

2009-06-16T02:29:00.003-05:00

I am on my way to Chad to visit Kirsten!!!! I am sitting in the Paris airport, 6 dollar coke in hand (a necessity as my body does not compute that it is 930 am alrady!!) and pacing as I wait through my layover. In a few short hours I will be away from everything familiar and dear with the exception of my big sister and her family. I can't believe I will be hugging them so soon! I am missing my family so bad, especially when I see a little toddler or baby. I want to snatch them up and run away. But then I realize how peaceful it is and I appriciate the temporary solitude. I have been burning through my novel and working on sketches that have remained only ideas for 2 months. Every now and then I am shocked at myself that I have traveled all of this way alone--what an adventure! Don't forget to say a quick prayer for me tonight!

Camping adventures

2009-05-31T20:26:00.006-05:00

We got brave and decided to take our first family camping trip. The scenery was amazing at the campground that was hosting the weekend-long bluegrass music festival.

We camped with friends who also had kids (misery loves company I guess!) and had a great day and night listening to music and playing in our campsite. Weather was so perfect we even got to enjoy a swim in the Potomac.

Then the hail storm came. At first it was just huge droplets of rain that were welcome relief from the heat. But then the sky got dark. and loud. and angry. The wind gusted, thunder and lightning warned, and we all ran. I was pushing the two kids in our double stroller and doing my best to keep them sheltered while pushing through crowds. Right after we got to a pavilion, hail pelted down. We were all awestruck. The storm lasted what felt like days but ended up being a bit over an hour. Our tent poles were broken, our sleeping bags were floating in icewater and a tent just feet from our was flattened under a massive tree.

Shortly after throwing our sopping wet gear into my in-laws minivan and hitting the highway for a dry, indoor bed, Nate and I were debating the ranking of this trip in our "worst camping experiences" list. It definitely was the wettest (although we both thought of a few that were close runners up!) but the good times made the craziness seem worth it. I can recall camping disasters with my parents growing up and so can Nate. I guess our kids are doomed!

I'm going places!

2009-04-02T22:34:00.003-05:00

The little man is mobile...
brace yourselves!!

Peaceful protest

2009-04-01T19:56:00.000-05:00

Lately Scarlett has developed a new and interesting form of protest. She does not engage in the full tilt hissy-fit--she's way too cool for that. When she decides that she has had enough, she simply lays her body prostrate. Wherever we are (even gross floors like the doctor's office) she just goes completely limp. This is a particularly powerful weapon, as I am often carrying around her not-yet-moblie younger brother. I then must resort to dragging her floppy body where I need it to go and threatening her through clenched teeth. I have already been chastised by several 'helpful' people about not allowing her to lay there, as if I hadn't noticed the filth layer just beneath her stubborn little cheek. It is not like I approve of my daughter laying face down in the dairy isle, library lobby, and worst of all women's locker room--clearly I am just outwitted. While I do prefer this kind of peaceful protest to the screaming tantrum favored by most of her peers, I do worry that her little arm might get pulled right out of socket! At the end of the dat though, I secretly admire the creativity and determination that she already possessess in spades. I imagine all of the great things she might accomplish one day.

For daddy

2009-03-19T06:50:00.003-05:00

Nate has to travel for work so this is for him.
We miss you honey.

Triathalon Wednesday ( I give up!)

2009-03-18T09:08:00.002-05:00

SO I guess I'll never make it on Tuesday...
This week I lunged till I hurt. (didn't take long)
I also swan half the distance I will swim in the race. When I see others in the pool, I realize how much more practice I need. Luckily I have someone to give me some coaching on Friday! (am a little nervous)
Running has been going well. I have been running to the gym as my warm up and now when I run I am almost having fun (imagine that!)
I really need to ride my bike soon....
Now that spring is almost here I think my training will be much more fun.
Most Irongirl moment of the week:
swimming 4 laps without stopping!

Can you dig it?

2009-03-15T22:09:00.000-05:00

To call our house a fixer-upper seems to be a bit of an understatement. It is a huge project that we have been working on since we moved in 9 months ago. The kitchen had to be gutted (thats a picture of it empty) and built again. Same for the bathroom. We bought the house knowing we needed to fix these things and Nate's done a great job of doing these projects so far. We also knew the house was too small and planned to dig out the basement and add on a third story. Right now Nate's office occupies the front half of our bedroom and I think he's getting anxious for his own space (mostly so he can be a slob without me rolling my eys at him!!) We spent a ton of time prepping for the basement dig out--cleaning it out, getting the plans drawn up, choosing a contractor to help out and enlisting a workforce. One of the things we didn't spend much time on was getting city permits. We had been warned about this part of the process, but haven't had to deal with it so far (none of the other projects were so obvious from the outside...) We were given the permit to put the dumpster out on the street to collect the dirt, but denied the permit to remove the dirt. Boo. Seems there were a few dig-outs that resulted in a few rowhomes collapsing. We are confident that our architect/structural engineer has created a plan that would not destabilize the house, but apparently the city is less confident in our plans. Some have suggested digging without the permit. I am wondering if those people will give us a place to stay when the city condems our home.
This is a hurdle, sure. But we are determined ot eek out more living space from our small city home anyway we can, so we are on to plan B (in case anyone cares, I suggesting finishing the basement without digging it out BEFORE we spent 4 digits on the project!!) And from this setback we have gleaned several bits of wisdom:
You can fight City Hall, but why would you want to?
Get any permits you might need sometime BEFORE the day you plan to begin the project.
Make the architect's pay contigent on a sucessful permit!
Don't get your heart set on a project or the powers-that-be will crush your spirit.
Cleaning out your basement is cathartic!
Anyway I am sure there will be many more headaches to come but I wouldn't leave my little rowhouse for anything!!

Triathalon Tuesday (late again!!)

2009-03-11T12:59:00.000-05:00

I am really sore from yesterday's workout. No pain, no gain, right? I haven't been able to swim this week, but we did go on a family hike and with Ensley on my back that definitely test the endurance! The hike almost didn't happen though...As we were parking, a sickinglt sweet smell wafted up to me from the back seat. Ens was hysterical to get out of his seat. I knew this was not going to be pretty. Without going into all of the gory details, lets just say that even his sock was completely full of poo. Wowza! Luckily I hadn't completely unpacked my car from visiting my parents' so there was a pair of jammies that we could put him in. Ensley seem to enjoy his first hike and I got in a great workout.
My most irongirl moment: holding down a wriggling, poopy 7 month old with one hand while cleaning up the mess with the other and getting no poo on me!! (and finally passing runners--I'm not the slowest anymore!)

Triathalon Tuesday ( a day late)

2009-03-04T19:39:00.002-05:00

An astute reader of this blog might remember that I made a new year's resolution to finish a triathalon this year.
I have been wanting to update my progress weekly to keep myself accountable. I thought it would be catchy to call it triathalon tuesday (sorry I was too tired last night!)
I have been practicing my swimming about once a week for a month or so. This last time, the lifeguard didn't seem to be ready to leap in to save me. And I didn't swallow any chlorine. But my arms and neck are still sore. And I am starting to be nervous about the big crowd of swimmers the day of the race.
I also ran about three miles and didn't collapse.
I had a personal training session that left me so sore that I couldn't climb the steps for an entire day.
There is definitely some progress (and a long way to go still).
See you next Tuesday (or Wednesday)

Thanks Poppa!

2009-02-27T16:11:00.000-05:00

Today my father drove all the way to my house to install a shelf he built for my kitchen. We had to cover up an area behind our cabinets where the wall was out of square by several inches (gotta love 100 year old homes!)
Ikea couldn't fix this kitchen dilema, but my father could. He did a great job--it looks better that I even imagined.
And all the while it was amazingly georgeous weather--he could have enjoyed it working on his own projects. Scarlett was very excited to see her Poppa and so was Ensley. It was a great little visit and my kitchen is really coming together! Thanks Poppa- you're awesome.

six months later

2009-02-25T22:56:00.000-05:00

The other day I was marveling that Ensley is almost 7 months old!
Could it be that my little boy used to be that tiny? He has just gotten his second tooth, started practicing a very endearing laugh and sits and rolls and has an "I wish I could crawl" mentality.
He loves to play peek-a-boo and wiggle and splash in the bathtub.
I just caught Nate trying to teach him to say "Dada."
He already has a favorite toy and knows the difference between a real and pretend cell phone!
What happened to that little tiny peanut of a baby?
Looking forward to what happens next.

What's your love story?

2009-02-20T08:09:00.002-05:00

For a project at church, we are collecting love stories. I'm not just talking about romantic love stories, but how loving someone has changed your life. Or maybe how someone showing you love has affected you. It might be a story of generousity, forgiveness, redemption or hope. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, it is your story. But please tell me your story. Do it here or send it to me--call me, write me, e-mail me, just take a minute this week to share your story with me. Thanks.
I guess it wouldn't be fair for me to ask you to do this without sharing a story of my own.
There are so many examples of people showing me love in my life, my husband, my parents and my siblings have all loved me over and over even when I was completely unloveable. I can still distinctly remember one time in particular.
As a teenager I was lost. I seemed to know the right answers but purposefully chose the opposite. I made a lot of choices that I am not proud of. If there was a rule I wanted to break it, even if it meant sneaking and being dishonest. Trying on this new 'bad girl' skin to see what it was like. Apparently I wasn't very good at it, though--because I got caught. Alot.
One time I got caught (I think it was skipping school or breaking curfew) blatenly disobeying my parent's rules AGAIN. All afternoon I sat in my room dreading the fallout of the event. I practiced giving my parents an indifferent shrug and snide countenance. They came into my room and told me to get in the car. Now I was nervous. We started driving and it was very quiet at first. Then they started talking to me about what I had been doing. Not yelling, but asking and listening. Then I saw where we were going--a little greek restaurant that I hadn't tried before but wanted to. We sat together and talked. We talked about the food--it was good. and we talked about the choices I needed to be making. There was no anger, only love, guidance and forgiveness. When I wnet to sleep that night, I lay there knowing that my parents loved me no matter what. They did not like what I was doing but they liked me, and they always would. I went on to make even more mistakes and I am sure that I will continue to make more, but I know that my Poppa and Mom will love me despite them. This demonstration of their love not only gave me a peace and security all me life, but have given me an even greater gift. Now that I am a mother, I can model myself after them. I can show my children what unconditional love is and give them that gift.
That's my story. What's yours?

Confessions of a deadbeat mother

2009-02-03T18:05:00.004-05:00

This morning I was giving art lessons, so I got up very early and made sure everything was clean and ready to go. About 20 minutes before the first students was to arrive, I realized that we had no toilet paper. Knowing that I would have people in the house throughout the day, I decided that it would be super embarrassing to ask guests to use diaper wipes. So to the convenience store one block down I went. Scarlett begged to go on a walk (it was snowing), so I told her if she hurried she could come. She put her own shoes on (wrong feet of course) and put down the marker that she was using to give herself a beard. I threw on the nearest sweatshirt (inside out) and we were on our way. Scarlett spots her wagon and insists on filling it with a random assortment of her "treasures" to drag behind her. Sure, okay...let's go!
I get into the store and grab the paper and hand the guy my card that I always use. I already feel bad about using a card for a $2 pack of TP, but I'm out of cash, so what can I do? He furrows his brow, hands me my card and tells me it has been declined. I ask him to try again--same result. WHAT!?! So I try the ATM. No dice. I tell the guy, "I'm so sorry, I will have to run home and get cash--I'll be right back." The guy hands me the paper and says "Ma'am, really it is no problem, you can bring me the money if you want, but you don't have to." I say I will and run out of the door.
On the walk home, I am wondering, why is this guy trying to just give me the tp? Then I survey the situation. My clothes are disheveled and I have fuzzy slippers on. My daughter has wild hair. She is dragging her possessions behind her in a wagon and her face is smeared with marker. I can't even pay for one lousy roll of paper. This guy must think I am the biggest deadbeat in town! He was giving me the paper because he felt bad for me. Great.
So after getting home and figuring out my banking error (all the money was in the other account...woops). I asked Nate to take the two bucks to the guy--I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Soon enough I will have to pop back in to that store(whenever I am craving dark chocolate m&ms most likely). But next time, I will try really hard not to be a pathetic wreck!!!

2009-01-28T16:36:00.003-05:00

I think it should be a law that all grocery stores have a few of those carts with the car in the front. It makes shopping with a toddler and a baby SO much better!! It would drastically reduce the number of carts abandonded as a result of a bored and screaming child.
Also any place that has a changing table in the women's room should also have them in the men's room. Nate had gotten out of some real stinkers with that one!
I am also in support of anything that can be a drive-through. I think the post office and wal-mart should consider this service.
And I would defintiely be able to try clothes or get a haircut if all stores had a play area. Just a thought...

adventures in potty land

2009-01-22T16:27:00.003-05:00

I decided to take advantage of being stuck in the house and encourage Scarlett to potty-train. When we sat down for our morning "project" I made a little chart where Scarlett could put stickers when she used the potty. I was narrating the whole thing, explaining how we would use it. I even showed her the Dora stickers she could have. Surprisingly, she didn't seem all that interested--she would glace over at me but wasn't buying into the whole thing. I let it rest for a little while and then pulled it back out later. I asked her if she wanted to try to use the potty and she did. While she was sitting there, I gave her a sticker and told her we would put it on her potty chart. At this she started freaking out--screaming and running around (with her pants around her ankles). I asked her what was wrong, she yelled "No potty shark! Scarlett's afraid! Potty shark bite." And then I understood why she had no enthusiasm for the potty chart. After much explanation and enunciation, I did calm her down but she will NOT go on the potty. Poor little thing--I've probably given her a lifetime's worth of bathroom anxiety!

Cabin Fever

2009-01-20T23:42:00.002-05:00

Even though I do not work, I can hardly be called a stay-at-home mom. Really I am a run-around-town mom. I can create a list of errands a mile long when I want to. By Sunday, my week is often double and triple booked with playdates, story times and trips. Having Ensley around didn't really slow us down much either--not at first. But now it is cold out. This means I have to bundle up three people with 3-4 layers. If I am lucky enough to know where everyone's hats, coats and gloves are, then I unvariably will have to do a diaper change once we are all assembled. Last week I did all this to go to storytime at the library and stop over at the post office. Both kids screamed on the way home because the biting wind was freezing their poor little noses off. And now Ensley is on a schedule. Don't get me wrong, this really is a good thing, but the whole nap thing has really thrown a wrench in the works. He takes a morning and late afternoon nap and Scarlett takes one wedged right in-between. This means I can only get out between 7:30 (unshowered-yuck) and 9am or wait until 4pm when they are both up. But I have to get dinner started by 5 or 5:30 so the afternoon trip has to be short. I have been in this stinkin house since church on Sunday morning. It is not that big of a house and I am a little tired of it. I have packages to be mailed,dry cleaning to drop off and even a few Chistmas exchanges to take care of still. Unprecedented!! As a cruel joke, Safeway is delivering my groceries for free tomorrow. I hate lugging around bags of groceries with both kids in tow, but this is getting ridiculous. I might become a crazy recluse as a result of this cold snap, forgetting how to interect with actual human beings (other than through blogs and Facebook, of course). I do not know when on Earth I will get out and get my eyebrows done--I am starting to look like Bert! (I guess the upside is that who will see me to notice?!?!?!?)

my two cents

2009-01-13T11:12:00.002-05:00

I am an unabashed music lover. Nate calls my music "wussy man rock." I don't know what to call it, but admit he is not too far off the mark. I love music so much that I have to carefully guard my itunes addiction or I will spend our mortgage on mp3s. But once a month I do buy an album. Half of the fun is discovering new music that I haven't heard before, so I will share my favorites with you. If it isn't your kind of music just ignore this post. If it is, please to enjoy (in no particular order) my favorite albums of 2008:
Micheal Franti & Spearhead-All Rebel Rockers
Various artists-Yo Gabba Gabba
Brett Dennen-Hope For the Hopeless
The Weepies-Hideaway
Jack Johnson-Sleep through the Static
Vampire Weekend-Vampire Weekend
Sia-Some People Have Real Problems
Ray LaMontagne-Gossip in the Grain
Thao-We Brave Bee Stings and All
Amos Lee-Last Days at the Lodge
Josh Kelley-Special Company
Bob Dylan-Bootleg Series vol.8

Tell me what your favorites were.

small victories

2009-01-09T16:32:00.003-05:00

It is a rare moment...
The house is quiet, no one is screaming, crying or throwing up. I believe we are turning a corner.
Life has been hectic because Ensley has not been feeling well, which means he hasn't been sleeping well, which means we are all tired. It was so hard to see my little baby crying and not be able to fix it. Plus he has projectile vomited on me 6 times in the last 3 days. To quote Scarlett, "not awesome."
All of the sleep deprivation was getting to me. Poor Nate had to tolerate quite a few snide comments. I will make it up to you honey, I promise. I had to miss my spinning class at the gym, which made me feel depressed and I ate two dark chocolate batons from Trader Joes. This is not Iron Girls behavior. Although carrying both sleeping children from the alley into their beds the other night was a feat of strength. I read that you burn more calories during an activity if you concentrate on burning calories, so I thought about my skinny jeans while I was toting the laundry up and down 3 flights of steps. I guess that counts for something.
But I did send out a birthday card and met up with a woman that I am going to start volunteering with. Small victories that are keeping me sane.
Well, I hear the prince fussing now. It was nice while it lasted!

2009

2008-12-31T14:20:00.002-05:00

For about 4 years in a row, my New Year's resolution was to quit smoking. Three years ago, that one finally stuck. Now I have decided to work on a few other things that I would like to accomplish this year.
1. Send birthday cards to people. (This will be year #2 for this goal)
2. Find some way every day to serve someone around me.
3. Finish the Iron Girl triathalon.
4. Fund at least one home improvement project with my art (hopefully more
than changing a light bulb!)
5. Complete one grad school course.
I will keep you posted on my progress...
What are your goals?

Lets get together

2008-12-28T22:12:00.002-05:00

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of get togethers with friends and family. With Scarlett's birthday. Thanksgiving, Christmas and now New Year's Eve, Scarlett has recently begun asking for a party and cake every day. We have been visiting with so many of our friends and family that I feel like every day has been a party. Scarlett has enjoyed playing with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents. I love to see all of the people who adore my children almost as much as I do. Nate and I are both blessed with families who keep life interesting. I wouldn't trade this craziness for the world.

pnuemonia, insomnia and other hard to spell words...

2008-12-22T03:44:00.003-05:00

It is almost 4 am and I can't sleep. In times of stress I get terrible boughts of insomnia. I've tried a lot of things while I was wishing I could be sleeping--like advancing the plot of the novel I'll never publish, hot baths, yoga, reading one of the 6 books I am in the middle of, doing the dishes, and now blogging. Usually the only real cure is getting back into my sleep rhythm. (Yes little Ens, I'm blaming you!) I'm sure I'll have no trouble falling asleep 45 minutes before the kids are up...sigh...
This past week has been crazy hectic and I guess the frenetic pace isn't good for me. Scarlett and I spent about 6 hours (while we both should have been sleeping) in the ER on Tuesday night. My intuition kept telling me something was wrong while my pediatrician was telling me everything was fine. Sure enough, she developed pnumonia and the poor child has been so, so sick. The week that I had planned to use for Christmas preparations was instead focused on nursing her back to health. It is a huge relief that I no longer have to pin her down and syringe juice into her mouth every hour. I think there were about 3 days where I had one or both kids crying for about 90% of my day. I admit I did teeter on the edge of a breakdown (I even pondered shaving my head Brittney-style or taking psychotropics and accosting strangers Anne Heche-style) but I pulled through and so did Scarlett.
I knew she was better when she ate a whole plate of scrambled eggs in 3 seconds and when she announced several times, "Scarlett happy, momma!" So worth it.
I hear a baby crying...that's my cue

So Lucky

2008-12-08T10:36:00.003-05:00

At around 4 am I heard Ensley fidgeting in his crib. When I leaned over his crib to check on him--feeling tired and wishing I was still snuggled in bed--I was greeted with a huge grin and two of the cutest dimples ever made. Instantly I didn't care about how tired I was. All I could think of was how lucky I was to be a mom to my kids. With the holidays, travel, and chores I seem to be getting busier by the minute. But Ensley's little face reminds me to stop and enjoy this great gift that I have been given.

Happy Birthday Baby!

2008-11-28T18:54:00.002-05:00

Today we are celebrating Scarlett's birthday. She picked out her own outfit, helped me make cupcakes, and flew her kite at the beach. All day I just watched her in awe. How is she already a two year old? Where did the time go? She brushes her own teeth is full of opinions, and can even put on her own shoes. I am treasuring every moment with her. I am truly grateful for my Scarlett!

doing chores

2008-11-14T09:54:00.002-05:00

I admit sometimes I fantasize about when the kids are older. Nate was just talking about how awesome it will be when both kids sleep the whole night through. I wondered how long it will be until they get themselves ready for bed and all we do is just go in and kiss them goodnight. Don't get me wrong, I treasure every moment of these days they are so young and I know it is truly fleeting, but seriously, it will be cool when they are old enough to do chores. My only problem will be deciding which chores to assign them first. On second thought, Scarlett is ready to do dishes, isn't she?

Bee-utiful

2008-11-05T15:02:00.003-05:00

This year we had a really fun Halloween! Scarlett was thrilled to be Elmo--she didn't really like to have the hood up, but still looked so cute in the furry red suit. She does not seem to care that the holiday has passed and still wears the elmo suit most days. It looks especially nice with her pink rain boots she often pairs with it. Ensley was a bumblebee and couldn't have been cuter. THe outfit was so wide that he could sit up on his own, which I definitely think was the highlight for him. Our neighborhood was great for trick-or-treating! Everyone was out on their stoops giving out candy for the kids, and there were even people giving out food and drinks for the parents! Scarlett was a little reluctant at first to participate, but then she figured the drill out pretty quickly. SHe would march right over, say "Happy Haloween" and "Thank You" and then drop her reward in the pumpkin to free up her hands for more. Then she got two tootsie pops--one for each hand--that she wouldn't part with. She was completely content so we headed back to our stoop, where we gave out the candy that I bought as well as most of the candy we had just collected (I'm far to weak to allow piles of it in the house!!). We put on some music and Scarlett danced around in circles all cracked out from eating a lollipop. It was fun to see all of the costumes. My favorites were the ones with muscles already built in. I also gave candy to many teenagers without costumes (didn't want to be egged) and a few adults of questionable mental states. Ensley snoozed through a majority of the evenings events, but sure was cute doing it. It was a great night. It was a little bittersweet for me, because I was thinking of trick-or-treating with Kirsten as a kid and wishing that she wasn't a million miles away on her birthday. Don't worry Kirk, I ate a few pieces of candy just for you!

A great gift

2008-10-27T18:55:00.002-05:00

My parents gave me a lot of great gifts growing up. One of my favorites was a Dodge Colt that I literally drove till the transmission fell out (twice). I also loved the preemie Cabbage Patch doll that Scarlett now plays with. But those gifts pale in comparison to the best one they gave me. Thirty five years ago today, my parents got married. And today my mom made my father a meatloaf even though she doesn't like meatloaf. And my father probably wrote my mother a very romatic and sappy poem.
All my life they have shown me what is like to love someone--to be in love and to stay in love. Over the years, my siblings and I got to see how great marraige can be. We got to learn so many lessons about how to laugh together and have fun. We also got to see how two people work together when times are hard. I always felt secure that my parents loved me and each other and I am lucky for that.
On my wedding day, I hoped I would be as happy as they are.
And I am.

Thanks Mom and Poppa
Happy Anniversary

Iron Girl

2008-10-23T10:49:00.005-05:00

So I have decided to do it...
In order to transform this wimpy body into that of an athlete's I have decided to sign up and train for the iron girl triatahlon in August.

0.62 mile swim
17.5 mile bike
3.4 mile run
stop laughing
A diligent reader of this blog may remember that I tried swimming before and it was not my best work. I am most nervous about the swimming part, but I am also nervous about doing that much physical activity in one day!! I am the kind of girl who loved being on the volleyball team because all of my friends were, but was horrified when we had to run up and down the bleachers at practice. Most of my exercise these days involves delivering laundry from one floor to another or carrying the double stroller in and out of the house.
I know it will not be easy to convince this puffy, creaky, old body to get to work
but that's ok. I am excited to take on this new challange-to have this huge seemingly insurmountable goal. It is a good thing that I have almost a year to train, because I am going to need it!!!

Weekends away

2008-10-20T19:24:00.002-05:00

Grandma Kate and Lauren Elise

I swore that I was just going to stay home for a weekend after two weekends away.

That was until I got a call that Lane was having her baby. I was already packing my bag before we hung up. She was just so tiny and sweet, with the softest head of sweet-smelling baby hair. Was it really only 9 weeks ago that I had a little newborn like that?! Layla was at Mom's house so I got in some good auntie time and Scarlett was happy to have a buddy to play with. They even shared once or twice. And the highlight of the trip was looking at my sister's big smile when she talked about Lauren. It was such a celebration that I almost forgot the fact that I have yet another bag to unpack...
Maybe tomorrow..

Rebel without a nap

2008-10-15T12:42:00.003-05:00

Today I had a lunch date with a friend and her baby. We went to a lovely restaurant and this was our first mistake. We went right before Scarlett's nap time and that was the second...
Scarlett threw the cookie the waitress brought her. She threw the crayons that I brought her. She told me no, the waitress no and my freind no. She even told her beloved Elmo no. The only thing she ate was a few pieces of my lettuce dipped in ketchup.
I couldn't distract her with anything fun. I couldn't give her any kind of consequence that would change things (although I did consider just for a moment putting her in the women's room for a timeout!) It was a horror-show.
THe waitress said, "Let me guess--almost two years old?" How did she know? Was it the scowl that Scarlett was giving her?
Sometimes I look at her rolling around on the floor kicking and screaming and wonder "what happened to my sweet little girl?" I know she is still in there somewhere and I can not wait to see her again!
When thinking about what I would be like as a parent, I thought I would be able to handle the whole discipline thing so much better. There are so many times I am just sitting there wondering what to do.
If this is any indication, it is going to be a long year!
(Meanwhile Ensley slept contentdly the whole time!!)

what a long strange trip

2008-10-10T17:27:00.002-05:00

Last night we drove to Raleigh to visit Nate's sister. Scarlett has never been a fan of long drives--usually instead of falling asleep, she would scream and yell. Often the only thing that would soothe her was some kind of horribly punishing children's music that gets stuck in your head for days on end. But this trip was different...
We loaded her and Ensley in the car just after 6 pm and the baby promptly fell asleep. I woke him when we stopped for dinner and he ate and went back to sleep. He was so quiet that I wondered if he was alive. This kind of excellent behavior must have inspired Scarlett. She happily talked to us and sang made-up songs to her Elmo doll. She pleasently told us when she was hungry and then after telling us that she saw the moon ("Moon mama! Mama moon" times 100)she fell sound asleep. She woke when we were a few minutes from our destination.
Nate and I talked to eachother, listened to our own music and even imagined the days when the kids would be playing their video games on trips like these. I was even able to sleep for an hour.
I hope that this wasn't just a fluke--we are travelers at heart and don't last long before wanderlust sets in again. I don't know if it was night driving or positive peer pressure that made her so pleasant, but I'm happy. Where to next?

Our lil 'eers

2008-10-07T09:21:00.004-05:00

This weekend we took our first big family trip. We took a pilgrimage to Morgantown to watch the football game (we won!) and also to celebrate the fact that 10 years ago this month, Nate and I started dating. We went out to eat at the same restaurant Nate took me on our first date (we were broke, so the restaurant was also a great place to take our family and another family with two kids--no one cared about the throwing of food!)It was quite a different experience to be in Morgantown as the parents of two small children rather than unfettered college students. On Saturday night, after I had bathed the kids and tucked them in and I setteled in to watch TV I wished for a few minutes that I was going out dancing with my friends instead. It can be so fun to have no responsibilities. But when it comes down to it, spending time with my kids has been the coolest and most important job I have ever done. The rewards far outweigh the fact that my Friday nights are not quite what they used to be... I mean, what could be better than this?

These are a few of my favorite things

2008-09-30T09:51:00.005-05:00

Recently I had "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music stuck in my head (don't ask me why, I credit it to sleep deprivation) and it occured to me that Julie Andrews' character had a very strange list, I mean mittens...who wears those past the age of 4 anyway? But then I realized I might have a few strange things on my list. I mean, The smile Ensley flashes at me and the adorable way Scarlett says "bless you, dude" are definitely among my favorite things, but there are also some strange things on my list...
finding a treasure in someone else's trash
ice and water on the door (I waited so long for this!)

my down comforter
the smell of wet pavement
Diet Pepsi Vanilla (it is so hard to find that when I do it makes my whole day!)

people falling down (I'm a bad person, i know, but nothing is funnier)
any song Bob Marley ever sang
my new jogging stroller

So I guess considering my list, whiskers on kittens aren't really that strange at all..

Dedicated

2008-09-27T07:05:00.003-05:00

On Sunday Nate and I invited our family and friends to church to participate in our baby dedication, where we pledged to teach our children about God and acknowledge that they are a gift from Him. We promised to put our children on a path towards Him as they are His. It was a beautiful service and we had a great brunch afterwards (thanks so much to everyone for pitching in...cooking for 20 is not as easy as you imagine it to be!) I had just been reading about Abraham and the gift he was given. God promised him a child even though he was very old. Finally after a very long wait, Abraham became a father at 100 years old. In the story, it is mentioned that Abraham and Sarai laughed at the news. I can only imagine how excited they must have been. Then when their precious son Isaac was a teenager, God commanded Abraham to sacrifice his son on the altar and offer him up. Abraham was faithful to do this and got his son up on the altar and was poised to be obedient when God spared Issac and produced a lamb to be sacrificed instead. Now I know that teenagers can be bratty, but this must have been so wrenching for Abraham. It was hard for me even to think about this. I dedicated my children to God, but could I truly offer them up like that? I pray that I am never asked to make that sacrifice. And now I can see what an amazing sacrifice God made when he sent Jesus to us.

she is a pistol

2008-09-18T19:21:00.002-05:00

In the big sister department, Scarlett is the tops. She looks at little Ens and just wants to hug and kiss him all the time. She often offers him her sippy cup or whatever delectable meal she is enjoying. She loves to help by throwing away diapers and pushing the stroller. She does not get jealous when storytime is interupted by his fervent "feed me" cry or when he gets carried and she has to walk. Ensley could not ask for a better big sister.
But she does seem to be needing me a bit more than she used to. I hear her crying out "Help peeeeeeze!" so frequently that today I couldn't even remember why I taught it to her. Sometimes I have to remind her that she can do it herself. She has discovered that when she does not get her way, she can do more than just scream (a favorite tactic) and has added in throwing her body prostrate and kicking her little feet. One of her new favorite phrases is "no Daddy" and I've caught her practicing her scowl in the mirror more than once. She knows what she wants and she has unyielding determination to accomplish her goals.
One day, I will admire those traits in her.
One day...

Twice the everything

2008-09-15T20:33:00.003-05:00

Life has certainly changed these past few weeks! A few of my observations:

I am back to carrying a purse AND a diaper bag. And no, its not a small purse.
I will never be on time to anything ever again.
I can never rewear anything--everything either has poop, puke or applesauce on it.
I have no idea what is going on in the world, but I did notice the guy from Blue's Clues got a haircut.
Two children screaming at one time while I am making dinner makes waterboarding seem like a relaxing spa treatment.
I find myself spending alarming amounts of time pondering shades of poo.
I fantasize about sleeping. Just sleeping.
I can carry amazing amounts of things-babies, strollers, bags and kicking toddlers all at once.
I used to saok in the tub so long I would have to drain off some water to refill it with warmer water. While I no longer enjoy these leisurely soaks, I often have to drain and replace bathwater--for much more sinister reasons.

So many things have changed I have been feeling like I can hardly keep up with my own life! But when Scarlett says "hug mama" and wraps her arms around me or Ensley looks up at me and smiles so big he dribbles milk, I am grateful for every second. Life before kids may have been simpler at times, but I can not imagine doing anything more important than being Scarlett and Ensley's mom.
And in the really hard moments, this is my mantra:
“I sing for joy at the works of Your hands.” - Psalm 92:4

He's here!

2008-08-27T15:03:00.002-05:00

Three weeks ago today, Ensley Samuel Smith made his much-anticipated appearance! Life has not been the same for a single moment afterwards, and I am loving every minute of it. He is very handsome, and already has graced us with several smiles that might not be gas induced. He astounds me every day with just how precious he is. I feel like he is growing like a weed--he has actually outgrown an outfit! I am treasuring every second of this though, as I know understand how fast it truly is. Sometimes I just snuggle him in my arms and thank God for this miracle. Even on the days where I think about sleep more than I actually do it (he started off great, but has recently become nocturnal) and even when I find poop on my arm (his-not mine) and puke in my hair and he has again sprang a leak as soon as I open the diaper and hits his own face and Scarlett's shoes (has happened more than once) and even when he is fussing and I have to blog one-handed, even then, I know how blessed I am to be his Mommy. For more cute photos, check out my mom's handiwork.

Its a blow-out

2008-08-02T13:22:00.002-05:00

Yes, still pregnant. One of the only good things about being overdue is the look of horror that crosses many faces when they ask me when I am due and I tell them last week. Especially men look at me nervously as if I might birth my child right there in front of them. Oh yeah, another big advantage is that Nate is still spoiling me...he has taken me out to two really nice dinners and last night took me out to hear the BSO perform the world premier of "The Dead Symphony no. 6." I never would have guessed how well Dead tunes translate to symphonic music! Not only was the music great, but it was a much more interesting crowd than the usual symphonies!
There are some downsides, don't get me wrong. If I am pregnant any longer, I might have to get mechanical help exiting the car. Also I can not call anyone anymore because they automatically assume I am calling to tell them I am in labor. Plus more than one person has begun to call me "Cankles" (you are cruel people). But we are managing...I think people are right about this guy realizing that it is too stinkin' hot to come out now! Just say a little prayer for us!

insomnia

2008-07-29T23:05:00.002-05:00

Well, as it is just past midnight, I suppose I am officially overdue. The boy did not come today, as was expected, and for the moment he seems content to remain in utero. I am glad that someone is content.
Much to my husband's chagrin, I hate suspense and anticipation and suddenly I find myself mired in it. So much so that it is past midnight and I am blogging rather than getting much needed sleep. I have tried all of the stupid tricks that can sometimes cure my insomnia, but none have worked. Well except for the ones I can't try, like Theraflu...
Of course I don't fail to recognize the irony--one day very soon I will be so sleep deprived that I could fall asleep with my eyes open. But now sleep eludes me. I just can't wait to see his little face. I keep wondering, what will he look like? Will he look like his sister did? Will he look like me, or like his father? Will he be a good sleeper? Will he be easy-going and easily amused or will he require much cajoling and arranging?
More than anything, I just want things to happen. I just want to be finished waiting--even if that means plunging headfirst into chaos I am ready to start it up. Do you hear that little guy? Aren't you tired of being cooped up in there?
My powers of persuasion are lost on him.
And by the way, is it possible for feet to swell to the point that they burst like an over-inflated balloon, because I am starting to be concerned...

Hot as blazes!

2008-06-16T19:47:00.002-05:00

It was another hot one today...
My parents and siblings came out to check out my new digs and we trecked all over to take in the sights. It was fun showing off the place and it was even better to relax and enjoy the day with them. My favorite part was when Scarlett mounted the shiny metal playground equipment and promptly reported to us "hot." We are no dummies, that's why we were sitting in the shade!
While Scarlett and I enjoyed out evening stroll, a little old lady chastised me for being pregnant in such heat. She let me know in no uncertain terms that in her day they had enough sense to stay in and keep their feet up. In her day they would not have accepted such foolishness. Just to be sure she had imparted every bit of wisdom she had, she also advised me that Scarlett needed her bangs trimmed.
Luckily for her, I get milder when the weather is this hot. The fiery side of me really wanted to advise her that her chin hairs were also in need of a trim. And that in my day we do not wear floral slippers as out-on-the-town wear.
Anyway Scarlett gave Mrs. Oldy McGuinty one of her dirtiest looks (and she's got some dirties) and I think that was message enough!
What is it about a pregnant belly that invites the advice of others anyway?

Its the little things

2008-06-14T19:42:00.003-05:00

Well life has been a dizzying tumoult of change of recent!
There has been so much excitement and drama that I can honestly say that I have not been bored for a single moment in my recent memory.
We are in our new home and settling into the neighborhood. I am practicing becoming a real Baltimorian by calling everyone "Hon." I love that I can walk to just about anything I need and that I already know my neighbors. My little trellised oasis of roses in our back alley is one of my favorite places in the world now!
But it hasn't been exactly easy. Nate and I don't argue much. Or maybe I should say, we didn't argue much. Luckily we still love eachother as much--even when the other person is being crabby.
And six days after moving in, we had to put our kitchen remodel on hold (not before it was rendered unuseable of course...) because the bathroom floor had to be ripped out and replaced entirely. Luckily my handy husband and hardworking father-in-law dedicated their last two weekends to getting that problem fixed. I swore I wasn't going to complain, but after two weeks of being 8 months pregnant and having no flushing toilet in my home, I gave the "I've been a martyr" speech. Oh well, I tried.
But now there is a lovely new tile floor and fabulous flushing toilet. It is brand new and does not have any of the yucky-previous-owner germs. Plus, I did not crash through the floor while taking care of business in the bathroom, which was definitely going to happen if Nate had not taken care of the rotton floor problem.
All in all I have to say that I am a lucky girl!

"Hard Mac"

2008-04-29T17:42:00.002-05:00

Today I was asked to prepare a packet of pasta (with freeze-dried beef in it) for someone. This is not a food product that I have been aquainted with, although if it were around when I was living in the dorms, I'm sure I would have already tried all of the flavors. This particular culinary delight consisted of an envelope of pasta that you mixed with water and stirred in some powder with beef chunks conviently included. I was doubtful that this process would render anything even remotely edible and my suspicions were confirmed. I promise to you that I followed the directions so very carefully that I even easured the 3/4 cups of water, which I would never normally do. I punched in the exact number on the microwave that was recommended. The result was horrifying. First of all, it came out of the microwave with a very hard, neon orange crust layer all over the top that I had to crack thhrough to get to the food (much like a creme brule only gross). When I did, I found that the pasta was so far on the wrong side of al dente that the poor child would break his teeth if I fed it to him. Also the "sauce" had congealed into chunks--not good. Several attempts at stirring, adding more water, and re-microwaving only made the dish more of a glop of sludgy over-processed goo than it had originally been. I gave up and made the poor child some chicken and rice.
All the while, I am asking this: Who was it that decided that the process of preparing boxed macaroni and cheese (you know, boiling the water, draining the pasta, stiring in the sauce) was too difficult? And if these people are indeed not capable of preparing this simple meal, should we complicate things with the new "easy method" and more importantly should we be allowing them to operate microwaves at all?
My other question is this: Why does Scarlett constantly shun my carefully prepared homemade lunch and beg for what ever packet/box/envelope pasta meal that other child has to eat!?!?

Big excitement!

2008-04-27T09:41:00.004-05:00

Life recently has seemed to be full of big excitement. This is how I like things, although it seems hard to catch my breath at times. We sucessfully sold our house, and survived the inspections, negotiations and subsequent work that followed. (the front yard has a huge trench in it, but this is no longer my concern!!) We have also found a house finally! After looking at about 20 and a ridiculous amount of research, we have put in an offer that I think has been accepted. I think tomorrow we will find out for sure. I have even collected a couple of boxes for moving. Wow, I can't believe it is really happeneing. I have been on the Ikea website 50 times already and have my new kitchen planned out perfectly (did I mention that we bought a fixer-upper?). It seems that life is not about to settle down a bit for a while, but at least I'm not going to be bored!
I am so excited about moving into a place that was bulit in 1900 and restoring it to some of its original splendor. The park across the street has a great playground and a pavillion that was built when the neighborhood was built.

Like eyes for the blind...

2008-03-26T20:02:00.002-05:00

Okay, before I say what I have to say, I will get to the exciting stuff first...it is a boy! Nate and I found out on Monday morning and have the sonogram shots to prove it (little guy, you can thank me later for not posting them, the tech actually inserted an arrow to clarify!!) Nate and I feel that our cups overflow!

And Friday was my birthday, which was very nice. We drove out to WV for the weekend and just as the trip got underway, Nate asked me to pull over. When I did, he quickly popped up an awesome GPS unit onto the windshield!!!! I could not believe it--he had already set it up and we used it on the way (we knew where we were going, which was good, because apparently it didn't--it would have gotten us lost in my parent's neighborhood...) It was a nice chance for Nate to demonstrate all of the cool features, including a soothing British accent. I could tell that he wished it was his, which somehow made it seem even cooler! She seemed a bit demanding while I knew where I was going, but I liked her anyway and named her Geraldine.

Now to some this would be a cool or neat extravagant toy in their car, but as anyone who knows me could testify, for me it was like getting glasses after a lifetime of squinting...like a wheelchair for my broken legs or even coclear implants for my deaf ears. I know this sounds dramatic, but it is not, I swear. I have a real and true disability when it comes to navigation. There is no map that can save me from myself. Not only to I lack the ability to create a mental map of an area and can not even imagine how roads relate to one another, but I also tend to panic in navigating situations and make decisions that no rational person would. I have been lost in almost every town I've driven in and spent countless hours taking random turns, u-turning, asking dudes at gas stations, and praying to the mighty Lord above all the while wondering if I was going to have to move because I would never find my way home. I have driven down roads in tears after realizing that I had already been down them twice, and when we first moved to Maryland, I was very well known in Nate's office--because there were so many times that I would have to call him and tell him where I was while he used Google maps to guide me home. If I didn't have a cell phone, I would probably be out there somehwere...just lost!!!!!

I think I'm a reasonably smart person in other aspects of life, but in this area, I am truly lacking any ability at all. My only survival technique has been route memorization. The worst is when I know how to get from my house to the mall, and from my house to work, but trying to figure out how on earth to get from the mall to work is exhausting!!! But thanks to my thoughtful husband, this curse will plague me no more! I'm a free woman! Goodbye my dear gas station attendants...

I wonder what you are thinking...

2008-03-20T18:56:00.003-05:00

I often look at Scarlett and wonder what is going on in her mind. I remember that shortly after she was born, we would hold her and watch her sleep and see her eyes moving about in a dream and I wondered what that dream could possibly be. Now that she is talking a little bit, I am beginning to get a better picture of who she is, but there are still so many times that I could not even guess at what her little brain is cookin' up. Today at my midwife's is a perfect example. When my midwife, David, said "Hi Scarlett!" and tried to go in for a hug, she furrowed her brow and shrank back. I know at this moment she was saying "if you touch me pal, you're gonna regret it." This was obvious. But then when I tried to put her in the car, she started arching her back and saying "NANANANANANANANANA!" Now I know this meant she didn't want to get in the car, but for the life of me, I have no idea why. She normally loves car rides--was even singing on the way to the midwife's. But on the ride home, she was definitely not singing. When I reached back to pat her leg she pushed my hand away with intention. Luckily the little mood storm cleared up as quickly as it had materialized and she was back to her normal self later, but I am still left to wonder--what was that all about? Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get her figured out...Of course Nate probably thinks the very same thing about me.

Debinkification

2008-02-28T18:21:00.003-05:00

Tonight is the night and we are all a little nervous...
Scarlett has gone to sleep with a pacifier (aka a binky) since she was four weeks old. Tonight she is 15 months old and we have decided that she will no longer sleep with a binky. At twelve months, we took it away during the daytime. She screamed on EVERY SINGLE car ride until she waws thirteen months old.
She is actually somewhat of a conisseur of binkies. She has favorites that rotate regurlarly...there is the diamond studded "bling binky,"the novelty binky that was actually decoration on the cake at my baby shower, the weird knobby purple one and many other interesting varities. Each night she carefully selects one to put in her mouth. Then she chooses one for each hand. These she immediately holds into her closed eye sockets as she lay. It is so cute. And now it has to stop.
I am actually a little sad too. My little baby is growing up and reaching so many milestones...she can climb up onto the couch, exclaim "yuck" when her diaper is rank, and help put her toys in the basket. She drinks from a cup and picks out her bedtime story. She has even mastered to fine art of throwing a fit when things don't go her way. I can't believe that she is the very same girl that I held in my arms and rocked to sleep as a tiny baby.
And tonight, please pray for us all. I worry that she will scream and cry at the injustice of her situation. (She can maintain the "freak-out" mode for a remarkably long time). My next worry is that she will not be able to go back to sleep when she wakes up too early. Normally Nate or I have to "re-bink" her at some ridiculous hour when all three pacifiers have fallen to the floor or wedged themselves between the crib and the wall. Now what will we do? I have a sinking feeling I am going to be up very early tomorrow morning.
I hope there is a nice sunrise...

Adventures in yoga

2008-02-27T19:22:00.003-05:00

Now that I am pregnant I have had to give up my Pilates class. Most of the class is spent lying facedown (I feel like I'm flattening the baby) or flat on your back (not allowed to do this because it put pressure on your organs or arteries or something like that)or twisting (don't know why this is a no-no). Last week I tried swimming for exercise. I talked to the life guard who told me that a reasonable amount for a beginner would be 16 laps, or a half-mile. This sounded reasonable, as I am in pretty good shape and comfortable in the water. I started off strong, but after five laps, I started to feel very winded and had to take a break between laps. After a couple more it took me longer to catch my breath between laps than it did to swim one. My shoulders were on fire after ten so I floated a while and decided that ten laps was an okay first attempt. The next day I was so sore that I could hardly lift Scarlett up. Every single muscle in my body was telling me that I had overdone it. I am going to try it again, but I am going to go a little easier this time. So yesterday I went to a new yoga class. I have been to a million different kinds and usually enjoy it. This one is known as "hot' yoga (and true to its name the thermostat was set at 77!!) The class description boasted a faster pace and more intense workout. I was looking for something more than just relaxing poses, so I gave it a try.
I knew I was in trouble when the teacher was standing in the middle of the room swooshing inscense around herself cereminously. She shut off the lights and asked us to look through our third eye. I only have two, so I just thought about my grocery list. Then she taught us a mantra we should sing to connect our centers to the power of yoga. First of all, if singing were all it took to get me into shape, then my morning shower would suffice and I would not be paying my monthly gym bill!! Second of all, I do not have any kind of spiritual connection to the power of an exercise class. Our teacher told us that yoge could transform our lives. The poor girl, if she only knew that we were all just looking to transform our thighs... But after all of her silliness, class began and the pace really was intense. My heart was beating right away and I had to work hard to keep up. Several of the poses were pretty intense (and some I didn't even know were humanly possible). During some of the poses, she would ask us to hold it and then meditate on some kind of yoga truth. I found these were great opportunities to mentally redecorate my bedroom, examine my toe nails and decide that I could definitely use a pedicure, feel the baby kick and smile, and even pray. And no, I was not praying to the power of yoga. God could hear me through all of the patchouli I have no doubt. During this one pose all I could do was think about not collapsing onto the floor. Oh, and then the girl next to me strained so hard she popped out a fart and I had to meditate very hard on not laughing out loud because it was very, very funny.
I have not yet decided if I am going to go back to yoga--it was a great workout and I get bored of the same old routine--but I have decided that if I did have a third eye, I would definitely use it to find a spot next to someone who would not break wind when the going got hard!

Valentines Day

2008-02-14T19:59:00.004-05:00

I have heard so many cynics complain about this holiday and I personally do not understand it. No, I do not believe that that Kay jewelers and Hallmark have conspired against us! I love this day, and to me it does not mean that we have to buy things or stress and worry. Valentines Day is a reminder to me that I should show my husband that I am still completely in love with him. And I look forward to hearing that from him as well. We have been together for ten years and often get caught up in the chores and duldruns of everyday life. A little romance every once in a while is definitely a blessing and not a curse. I was so touched when Nate secretly arranged for my friend to watch Scarlett so that we could go out to dinner and watch a movie. He remembered that I had mentioned really wanting to watch this achingly romantic movie and knew that I hadn't been to the cinema in two years. I loved the dinner (stuffed calamari, grilled octopus salad, and filet of sole) and cried at the movie (Atonement). But the best part of it was knowing that Nate had taken the time to do something for me. On our ride to and from the city, we listened to the double-disc Valentines Day playlist that I worked on for Nate for the last 2 months. (Because he puts a song in my heart...awww) The night was completely perfect, even without jewelry and Hallmark!

The Baby Whisperer

2008-02-05T19:01:00.000-05:00

Well there are some days that you are on the top of your game and there are some days that you are not. Today did not turn out to be one of my days to shine. Now that I have only one more step to be a liscensed child-care provider for the state of Maryland (the final inspection is schedule for Wednesday!!) you would think I could handle a couple of kids. Oh, but not today...
I had Scarlett and her best friend Connor outside playing this afternoon. It was so warm out--we were thrilled to enjoy it. While Connor is steering the bubble mower around the yard, Scarlett faceplants onto the brick patio. She screams, and her face is covered with blood. I get her inside and cleaned up to discover a scraped up nose and a goose-egg forehead. The only thing that got her to stop crying was a popsicle. My poor little thing. But she did want to play still. So did Connor. So we went back out and we were kicking around a soccor ball. It lands in a decorative koi pond. The pond is cute, but would never pass inspection, so we got fill dirt and rocks and planned to fill it in this weekend. Unfortunately that was not soon enough. When the ball landed in the pond, Connor's dog jumped in after it. Conner sees this and yells "Jump!" Then jumps feet first into the pond. He is now belly-button deep in the pond. I run over and pull his screaming, frantic body out and am overcome with a stench I have never encountered before in my life. If ten thousand elephants were to defecate in a hole and then fifty overweight men threw their week-old gym clothes into that same hole, it would only begin to rival this smell. The poor child had to be stripped comeletely nude before he could even go into the house!
Perhaps I need to accept that today is not my day and be sure to bring my A game tomorrow! Sorry Scarlett and Connor!

Goodbye old friend

2008-02-03T14:41:00.000-05:00

When Nate and I moved into this house, there were a couple of huge murals that were on the walls in the living room and the bedroom. They were not exactly my taste, and I swore I would get rid of them as soon as possible. I took down the deer grazing in my dinig room right away and repainted the wall, but the mountain lake scene in my bedroom just sat there and sat there. I decorated and redecorated every room in the house, but our bedroom just went on displaying that scenic view. Well, until yesterday. With some help from my mother-in-law, I tore, scraped, and steamed that mountain down. This will definitely help our house sell, and with a fresh coat of paint, I'm sure it will look incredible. I can't believe I am saying this, but I was actully a little sad about the whole thing. Somehow, I am going to miss it! It may have been ugly, but it had a special charm that at first amused me and apparently grew into something resembling fondness. Who knew!?!? Oh well. I don't miss it enough to install one in my new bedroom! And at least I have some photos to always remind me of my very own mountain lake!

Happy New Year

2008-01-16T19:32:00.001-05:00

I am usually good at keeping my New Year's Resolutions. This year one of mine was to blog more consistantly. We can all see how that has been going...
But I am really going to try and improve.
This year has been so eventful only two weeks in. Nate and I have replaced the flooring, molding and front door (with much needed help from friends, family and neighbors). Although we still have some work to do before we are finished, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I admit I have gone a little crazy living in a construction zone, but Nate has done a truly amazing job and the place looks so nice.
Marie and I have begun our new business venture. The steps to get a state approval have been lengthy, but we have waded our way through it and are now waiting for state, zoning and fire marshall inspections and the process will be complete. We have a pretty lengthy waiting list of clients and are getting so excited for field trips, story time and of course art projects.
Scarlett has been walking like crazy. It seems like one day she just gave up crawling and started plodding all around. She still has a bit of a Frankenstein walk and falls down a million times a day, but she is so happy to be cruising around. Her favorite activity is to carry around a bucket, lunch box or purse in one hand while holding her phone up to her ear chatting away. I am working on catching this on video, I promise!
And we got to see the first glimpse of our newest little treasure.

Merry Elfin' Christmas from the Smiths

2007-11-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

Click here for our Christmas greetings!

You've come a long way, Baby!

2007-11-28T14:35:00.000-05:00

Today is Scarlett's first birthday. A year ago today, Nate and I held this darling little bundle of newborn warmth in our arms and fell in love. She was a mystery to me at the time...I couldn't wait to get to know her. Her dark hair and eyes reminded me of her father, and it felt strange to know that he and I created this life. I couldn't believe that we were a family of three. Sometimes when I reflect on the past year, I can not believe it was only a year--so much has happened and my little newborn bundle has grown into a darling little toddler. (Considering the amount of sleep I lost, I was probably awake for an extra three or four months!) But today, I feel like time has flown and in the blink of an eye we are celebrating a birthday. I know that she will continue to grow and change at break-neck pace, so I am just going to hang on for dear life and treasure every single moment. When we say our prayers tonight, I will definitely thank God for Scarlett.

One last Blow Out

2007-11-27T20:05:00.000-05:00

Well it is a good thing that Nate made this wonderful feast of oysters on the half-shell, mussels in white wine sauce, and my very favorite--civiche...

Because I won't be enjoying any raw fish until about mid-July! Woohoo!!

We are very excited and thank God for another blessing!

A new career

2007-11-17T19:13:00.000-05:00

This year, returning to work was especially difficult. After having the summer off and spending so much time with my family, the fall became like torture. Each and every single day my heart felt heavy and I did not feel like I was where I should be. Time began to grind to a hault and the idea that I would have to keep up the pace of work until June made me feel depressed. I began to fantasize about not doing it. Now, I have always thought about not working while working, but this was different. Now the wheels were turning and creating something other that a fantasy--dare I say it, a plan...
Meanwhile, God has placed a very dear friend in my life. We have become close over the past year through our similar outlooks on so many things--parenting, relationships with God, balancing work and family, and even a similar sense of humor (embarassingly low brow--gas and people falling bringing tears EVERY time). I knew shortly after I met her that God had placed her in my life on purpose--we have been able to help and support the other through so much in the past year.
While spending time with her, I began to talk about how much I did not want to be teaching and away from my kids, and she was feeling the exact same things. We started just talking about what we did want, and our vision was undeniably the same. With tons of prayer and the support of our awesome husbands, we have put our plan in motion.
We have decided to open our own preschool. With each question and challange, a solution has become quickly evident. We are currently wading through a sea of buracratic rules, regulations and hoops to jump through. Our original plan was to begin next fall. Now so many doors have swung open and events lined up, it looks like we might begin even earlier. (Don't tell our boss yet, though!)
When I wake up in the morning, I am filled with a new energy and joy. I have tears of love and excitement when I look at Scarlett and know that I will spend my whole day with her.
I can not wait to take these next steps!
No more pencils...
No more books...
No more teachers dirty looks!!!

She did it!

2007-11-08T17:11:00.001-05:00

laughter really IS the best medicine

2007-11-06T12:37:00.000-05:00

Scarlett and I both have that really bad kind of cold where you feel like your nose has become the primary part of your body. You know--the one where you can't breathe through your nose, so you have to breathe through your mouth, which makes your throat sore. Yeah, that one. It keeps you up at night and makes your voice sound like either a squeaky mouse or a gravely old man. I hate colds so bad and the past couple of days at work have been tough--I can't even make my voice loud enough to be heard over the din of thirty squealing pre-teens. I really thought about calling in sick. But I didn't.
I took the little darlings to the computer lab to do some research, and the students who finished early were allowed to go to one of the county-approved educational websites. About two minutes before we wrapped up, one of my students looked red in the face and alarmed. When I asked her what was wrong, she said. "Mrs. Smith, I just went to the science page and looked up how babies are made. Wow--that was wrong on so many levels...don't you have a baby Mrs. Smith?" Now all of the students are looking at me expectantly, and I feel as if I am standing in front of them nude. At first I was horrified by the whole thing, wanting to wring the neck of whichever county cirriculum "expert" chose that page as a great one for 6th graders. Now I can laugh about the whole thing. In fact, every time I think about the ridiculous things these kids say and do, I feel a little better. Maybe laughter really is the best medicine. Or maybe I am just glad that I am no longer a pre-teen. I don't know why for sure, but they really are great people.

Happy Halloween

2007-11-02T11:41:00.000-05:00

It is so awesome to have small children--you finally get to go trick-or-treating again!! And Scarlett is still young enough that she doesn't yet eat candy. I can take care of that little issue...
The three of us dressed up for a costume party in Pittsburgh over the weekend and had a very good time with some friends from college. The host couple is expecting their first baby on Christmas day, so they were watching Scarlett with interest. I think reality really sunk in when Scarlett was up at 6:45am. I didn't have the heart to tell them that Nate and I considered that sleeping in!! They will be great parents though, I am sure.
And now it is Friday and Nate and I are not going on any trips. This is such a rarity I still keep looking around for my suitcase and trying to figure out what I need to pack. I will be going to WV on Sunday for Layla's 2nd birthday party, but only for the day. It will be nice to be home for a little while. Of course the leaves need raked, the laundry needs washed and grades are due Tuesday, so I will have plenty to keep me (and Nate) busy while we are here. With any luck I might even get to put my feet up for a minute!

I'm back baby...

2007-09-21T13:50:00.000-05:00

So I haven't blogged in awhile...
Sorry. Would you like to hear a few excuses?
Naa. Me neither (although I will provide a list for those that insist)
We have been enjoying every spare second of this summer...so many travels and adventures. They would have made great blog entries (I have composed so many in my mind). Alas they shall never be...but do not despair. I'm back baby...

One of my best excuses would definitely have to be getting back to work. It has been SO hard to go back this fall. I am four weeks in and already looking to see when the next holiday is. (Thank goodness for Jewish holidays or it would be Thanksgiving!!) I hate leaving Scarlett. She is so much fun now. Way more fun than my students (I can't lie).

This year I am teaching a Special Education reading class. I have only taught advanced classes before, so it has been a huge challange so far. I am only just now starting to feel like I am doing something remotely effective. For the first time today, I did not run out of time for the lesson. In fact, today I had 10 minutes extra at the end of class to play a game. Of course this was made possible my the "There's a new sheriff in town" speech I had to give this morning. I was so stern I even worried myself. I practiced it three times in the shower, all the while channeling my father, who can lecture about naughty behavior like no other. The kids gave me very worried looks and I even got some nervous laughter. I was feeling so mean. But then they got right to work and were so cooperative that we had way more fun than usual. I just need to remember that some people really like to be bossed around--they respond very well to knowing exactly when, where and how things will happen. I am not one of those types, so I have trouble understanding it, but I do enjoy being the decision maker. Let's face it--I love being the boss.
So cheers--it is Friday, the weather's great, I'm back in the blog-o-shpere, and I'm the boss...

Too much on my mind

2007-08-07T00:06:00.000-05:00

I had intended for my next post to be about my trip to France, but I haven't been able to sleep--there's been too much on my mind. Recently, there has been so much heartache in my family. My Nana died while we were in France, and it has been so sad. My sorrow was that I wish I had known her better. I also felt great sadness for my father and his siblings and his father. What must it be like to lose a mother? Having so recently become a mother, this parent and child bond resounds to me as one that carves out so much of who you are. My youngest sister, who shared with Nana the pain of dealing with cancer, had her own sorrow in losing her grandmother. And I don't know what it must be like for my grandfather to lose his love and his partner. And now it seems that there is so much anger in this family. All my life, family was the place I went for shelter from the storm--for comfort and unconditional love. If that was not there... I couldn't even imagine. I just know that anger is so corrosive, wearing away at the hearts of those who give and receive it.
My prayer for my family is that we can find peace. None of us are perfect and God chooses to love us despite this, I hope that we can do the same. I hope that Nana's legacy can be a family that knows this love and peace.

Ciao bebe!

2007-07-16T14:06:00.000-05:00

Well we are mostly packed and are ready to go to France!!! I couldn't get to sleep last night at all because I was so excited. It has been almost a year since I have seen my sister and her family... I can not believe that I am finally going to get to hug them! They haven't met Scarlett yet, so I am looking forward to showing her off. I went through her closet to find her very cutest clothes. Her Great Aunt Julie has given her some really adorable outfits with French phrases on them that I hope I am translating correctly and do not say something like "I hate the French!" Nate has planned tons of great activities while we are there, and I am trying to be a good sport about it, but I really just want to hang out with my family (and go to the Louvre, of course!) For those of you who have watched as much Full House as Lane and I have, we have been refering to this as Nate's clipboard of fun!! We've been listening to a French phrases CD to learn useful questions like, "Excuse me, where is the train station?" Most of the time I end up just making sounds that remind me slighly of the French language and moreso like a stroke patient. What I wonder is, how useful are these phrases if you can't understand a thing the person says back to you?!? Luckily my brilliant sister will be doing all of the talking for me, else I will probably just try to act out the question--I am pretty good at charades!
I plan to completely ruin my diet with this French cheese (Kirk, I am counting on your #3 best reason to live there-- a new one for every day!!!!!). Also I am looking forward to the pastries. In fact, I am excited for so many new and exciting things to eat. Well alright, I am pretty much excited about everything at this point....I'll be sure to post pictures of our adventures!

All in the Family

2007-07-09T13:55:00.000-05:00

After a week at the beach with my family, we spent the weekend with Nate's family. Scarlett got to meet her Great Great Aunt Claire for the first time and see her Great Grandparents for the first time since Christmas. We also had her Aunt Sarah and Uncle Wes visiting for the 4th. Scarlett's little feet barely touched the ground as she was constantly being enveloped in hugs. She smiled and enjoyed all of the admiration. She showed off her new teeth, babbled her favorite sounds, and continued her determined attempts at crawling. All the while we discussed who she looke like. There were so many theories about which parts of her took after which parts of family members (looking like me seemed to be one of the least favored theories). It was agreed by all (mostly me) that she was simply adoreable.
What a great gift that Nate and I can share all of our loving, fun, and unique family with our daughter. I just kept thinking how cool it was that Scarlett so many people in her life that love her so much.

Adventures

2007-07-05T20:47:00.000-05:00

Scarlett enjoyed her first hike on Sunday. She rode in her pack on Nate's back and seemed amazed by the trees above her. She also liked being able to grab on to her father's hair. She would look around a little puzzled when he talked, wondering where he was. We had a very nice time, even though we got a little lost and followed the wrong trail for a while. Nate had a new appriciation for his parents' heavy load on the AT after our short trek with Scarlett. She mostly wanted to taste the leaves that she could reach and occasionally turned around to be sure that I was still there. I was just glad to see that she was excited about our newest adventure!

Sun, Sand , and Smiles

2007-06-25T18:33:00.000-05:00

Scarlett and I have been enjoying every minute of the beach so far! The weather has been perfect--the sun shining and the water perfectly blue and refreshing. Scarlett was a little afraid of the waves at first, but has now begun to enjoy them. She mostly wants to play in the pool with her cool cousin Layla and eat sand. I am trying to be cool and not freak out when the sand reaches the lips. Today, while Scarlett napped on the beach, I rode around in the kayak with my sister Margie and thought about what an amazing time this has been already. You won't find me getting anything accomplished, but you will definitely see a big smile on my face.
Now if we could only get her daddy here!.....

The race is on...

2007-06-16T09:50:00.000-05:00

Recently Scarlett has been babbling with consonants. This results in sounds that verge on sounding like words. Now we know that it is a coincidence when these do actually come out sounding like words, but still there seems to be a little bit of a competition beginning...
When Scarlett starts chatting, I am sure to throw in a bunch of "Mama" sounds and am Bob-Doling it (you know, refering to myself in the third person all the time). I have noticed that Nate has amped up his game and gives her a lot of "Dada" sounds.
Considering that Mama is harder to say, this will make the victory even sweeter when we hear Mama first!!
Here are some of her first babbling (excuse the grunts--nature called!)

Just hilarious

2007-06-16T09:44:00.000-05:00

I have recently begun to hate everything on television (which is great, since I have no time to watch it!) Now there are a few things that I look forward to every week: American Idol (sorry, I can't help it!) Project Runway (makes me wish I could sew) and The Office. A couple of weeks ago, though I stumbled upon this gem of a show that originated on the BBC and now has an American counterpart. It is called Creature Comforts and takes real interviews and adds in claymation. I love this!

Growth

2007-06-12T13:41:00.000-05:00

This week in my garden, my green beans reached more than half-way up the trellis, the tomatoes opened a few yellow blossoms and the cucumbers leaves are enormous! My little babies that I put in as seed are now growing even closer to a delicious salad. I even ate a little lettuce that I grew myself for lunch! Of course the cat dug up half of my hollyhocks and my lilacs look like they are not long for this world, but that's fine--they can't all be victories, right?
I have to take the same perspective with my students. With just a few days left, the temptation to be naughty is just too much for a few of them. My patience runs thin as I try to cram in the last few nuggets of knowledge before they burst out of the door and into their summer vacation. I just focus on the ones who I can look at and know that I made a difference in their lives, they ones who got something out of all of the hard work that we put in this year. And the others--well, I will just tell myself that they are acting out because they are thinking about how much they will miss me. Yeah, that's it.

FRIDAY!!

2007-06-08T11:31:00.000-05:00

Three more days and I can put away my chalk and forget my code for the Xerox machine for the whole summer!! What a year it has been. I have learned very much from my students this year--I only hope they have also learned from me!! So many of them have had to deal with issues that I can't even imagine. So many of them I will never forget, not just the naughty ones but the thoughtful, helpful and full-of- promise ones too. Even the annoying ones that say your name 84 times in 86 minutes. I am sure that they will come and visit me next year, and I know my inbox will be full of cryptic e-mails that have abbreviations I have no hope of actually decoding. LOL. And the summer is just long enough that by next fall I will actually be a little excited to set up my classroom and learn 100 new names and start the whole process over again.
This year I took on role of "working mother." My principal has been so supportive with working part-time that I think I was able to strike a great balance. I feel very proud of my work this year, at home and at school. Leaving Scarlett has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do--but I just treasure the moments we do have and revel in her smiles.
And in the blink of an eye it will be summer vacation and I will make a conscious effort to have absolutely no idea what day of the week it is. And I will not attend a single meeting, supervise a detention, sharpen a pencil or distribute a hall pass for weeks on end. It will be Scarlett and I--adventure girls--wohoo! (Oh and Nate of course, when he's not working...)

Play dates

2007-06-07T11:12:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Scarlett had a playdate with her two buds Connor and Peyton. And yes, I admit that these are often more for the adults than the children....but fun was had by all and Connor discovered his inner rockstar!

Cousins

2007-06-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

One advantage of having a large family is that there is always someone to play with. On Sunday, we celebrated Kelly's graduation and Scarlett got to hang out with her cousins Layla and Aysha. Scarlett loved laughing at her cool older cousins crawl and walk all over. This seemed to instill in her a wanderlust. She laughed and smiled at her and even practiced her own little method of travel (I call it the "inchworm"). She has been working on this move, and has used it to get herself out of her car seat and closer to her favorite toy--the cat. While she seems elated at this newfound ability to get somewhere other than where she is, I have come to realize that I am going to be chasing her around soon! That seems like fun now... At least I have a little more time--right now her locomotion is still pretty easy to keep up with. She will just arch her back and push off with her feet and slide upside down. She generally runs in to something before she gets too far. Today during nap she scooted herself all the way in the corner of the crib, it was so cute that I had a good laugh, although Scarlett thought it a little less funny that I did. Hopefully she does not do this tonight and will be sound asleep until morning...

maybe I'm simple...

2007-06-01T18:20:00.000-05:00

What is the saying...children and fools are easily amused? Well count me in!
No matter how many times I see his facial expressions, I have to laugh out loud. I love all of these commercials, but this one makes me laugh just thinking about it. I am not afraid to admit that I am practically frothing at the idea of a show based on these commercials!

Pure Joy

2007-05-31T11:36:00.000-05:00

My heart has been heavy recently. My youngest sister, Grace has had some bad news about her kidney function. She will require dialysis very soon and will probably have to have a transplant. She has had to deal with serious health issues since she was a baby and had always seemed to be unfazed. But now she is a teenager, and can see how her body is failing her and can worry about her own future. This breaks my heart; she deserves to have a carefree childhood without this worry. I can not imagine having to go through the treatments and procedures that she has. She bravely faces each new challenge. I find myself not just praying to God, but begging and pleading with God for a miracle. I keep asking that this could all just disappear and she could be 'normal' whatever that means. The more powerless I feel--what can I do to help her?--the more I find myself looking to God and asking, "Why Grace?" It seems like she has already had to deal with so much. Today, in my reading, I found this and it stopped me in my tracks:
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4. I do believe that Grace is a gift from God and that he intends to use her for great things. I will continue to pray for a miracle for Grace because she is such an amazing aunt and sister. Her sweet nature, love of music and gifted touch with babies are all things I want to have around forever. But now I will also strive to see her obstacles as training for a greater purpose that God has chosen just for her.

Not as easy as it used to be....

2007-05-30T15:44:00.000-05:00

Nate and I are travelers. We seem to spend more weekends away than at home. This slowed down for a short time, but now that Scarlett has gotten a little older, we are back to our old ways. On Saturday, we went to Philadelphia to stay with Nate's Aunt Julie and take Scarlett to her first music festival (our favorite thing to do). I got up at 6 to clean and pack. I have to leave with a clean house. I guess this is so that the robbers will not think less of me, I don't know. Anyway, I can usually do this in 2-3 hours. By noon I was still scrambling and Nate was helping out. Then I was shocked at the HUGE pile of gear we were taking for two nights. But it all seemed essential (and 90% of it was Scarlett's!!) So we get on the road and I am picturing us strolling around downtown Philly when suddenly I remember "the stroller!!" So fifteen minutes later we have the stroller and are leaving town again. Now Scarlett whimpers. This means she has dropped her binky, so I do the usual reach back to re-bink. Only when I grab the bink, I feel something funny. I bring my hand back, and all I can say is CRAPAMUNDO. Earlier we had giggled at her grunting a little bit, but little did we know the floodgates had been opened. We pulled over at the McDonalds to assess the damage. This was poop tsunami-style. Nate just kept asking "What should we do?!?" while I tried to throw diaper wipes at the problem. He was holding her under the armpits while I was decontaminating and trying not to puke. Meanwhile Scarlett has this grin on her face as if she is a little proud of the whole thing. I really feel so bad for the poor McDonald's bathroom cleaner!!
Hours later than promised, we did show up in Philadelphia. Scarlett had a fabulous time with her Aunt Julie. The day of music was excellent. Scarlett made friends with another baby there (as well as charmed just about everyone who walked by) and giggled with enthusiasm while dancing and playing in the fountain. She fell asleep rocking in my arms while we listened to the Wailers sing "Stir It Up."
I have realized that the days of picking up last minute to drive all night to some week-long crazy festival may be behind us for now, and it may take several tries to get out of the door, but there are still many more adventures ahead of us. Only now they are even sweeter as we share them with Scarlett.

Hallelujah!!!

2007-05-23T12:52:00.000-05:00

I am a new woman today! Last night I put Scarlet to sleep at 6:30 and she did not get up until 4am!!!!!!! It was awesome. I slept so hard I drooled and dreamed. I haven't slept like that in so long, that when I woke up I had no idea where I was. I don't even care that it was probably because she got her shots yesterday, I am just going to be happy. I feel like I could run a marathon or something. WOOHOO!!

Wedded bliss and Aunties

2007-05-21T17:51:00.000-05:00

Today is my 2 year wedding anniversary with my husband. Unfortunately he is out of town for business. But I am not all alone--I just finished rocking Scarlett to sleep and marveling at this most precious product of our love. Could it really have been two years already? I am so glad that I married my best friend. It hasn't been boring for a minute!
While Nate has been gone, my three youngest sisters, Kelly, Achley and Grace came to keep me company. We shopped, bowled, watched scary movies and laughed a lot. All three girls were constantly finding ways to help me--doing dishes, straightening up, carrying in groceries. They even babysat Scarlett before Nate left town so that we could have a night out. I saw my first movie in a LONG time! I had so much fun with my little sisters but the best part was seeing how much they love Scarlett. I'm sure the highlight of their weekend was Guitar Hero or even having TV (not available at home) but just having them around made me and Scarlett so happy!

Is anybody listening!?

2007-05-16T11:56:00.000-05:00

I teach 6th graders, which overall is a fun job. But this morning, it took a bigger toll on me than usual. I said, "You will need your books for this, if you don't have one, please come to my desk to borrow one." Then when I found a student who was not working, I asked, "what's the problem?" He replies, "Oh, I can't do this--I don't have a book." This sarcastic being that dwells within me is busy working out several witty things to say to express my frustration. It takes all of my patience to repeat my instructions without said comments. Don't go thinking I'm so nice though, really I just figure "what's the point, they're not listening." Sometimes I repeat the same directions 6 or 7 times in one class, and then I will still have someone ask what to do. AHHH!

Then I come home and the dogs start barking. I tell them to be quiet. They go to another room to bark. (While they have not done what I have asked, they are slightly more obedient than 6th graders.) When Scarlett wakes up because the dogs are barking, I try to reason with her that it is still nap time. She does not agree. So I get her up to feed her, but Nate took her pears to the babysitter, forgetting that I asked him to take the cereal instead. AHHH!

Now I am thinking, alright fine, if no one will listen, than I will not even bother telling anyone anything at all anymore. But this is ridiculous for two reasons. First of all, I love to talk. So much so that I was never good at keeping up the silent treatment because I would forget about it until I was half-way through a good story or joke and it was too late to turn back. Second of all, I love telling people what to do, so giving this up would just not work. What a quandry.

This must be God's way of reminding me about how annoying I am when I do not listen. So God, if you read my blog...lesson learned.

Don't rock the boat

2007-05-15T13:17:00.001-05:00

One of the hardest things about leaving Rhode Island was leaving behind our boat, The Irish Mist. It was nothing fancy, but it was our favorite place to spend a summer day. When Nate decided to buy another boat, I was against it (I was very pregnant and against a lot of things). It seemed like we were throwing our money into the harbor and would never get to use the boat. We got a boat. We are throwing our money into the harbor, but now we have made two successful trips out and are instilling weekly "boat night." Scarlett loved relaxing in the V-berth and looking out of the hatch above her. I liked using words like jib and halyard and calling Nate "captain." I forgot how infectious the feeling of the wind driving us forward becomes. I love the idea that boat time is "take 'er easy time" even when Nate freaks out about something. So I guess I am sold. Now we just need to agree on a name. Nate nixed my idea: Breakin' Wind, and I said no to Take 'er Easy Time" so now we are at an impass...thoughts?

Surprise!

2007-05-13T09:32:00.000-05:00

Sat. night I threw Nate a surprise party. It was especially surprising because it was ten days after his birthday! We had a great time. It was great seeing his shocked face. He didn't cry, but it was close...Scarlett could barely stay up until he showed up at 8pm. The rain storm didn't dampen the hopes of a frisbee game in the back yard (although it did dampen the players). I tried to get people to dance, but to no avail...

And when all the guests were gone (except the ones sleeping on the couch) and we headed to bed (before midnight--we are getting old!) and I was thankful for another year with my guitar hero.

like peas and carrots

2007-05-08T14:25:00.000-05:00

The other day my girlfriend Marie and I took our kids to the circus. Actually we never made it IN the circus--we had three kids under two and were not allowed to bring strollers--but we caught glimpses of the animals while hanging' in the minivan in the parking lot. When I got home, my face hurt from laughing too hard. We have also shopped without buying anything and gone out to dinner and not eaten (note to nursing mothers: you cannot pick crabs one handed!).
You know that you have found a real friend when you don't really have to be doing anything at all to have fun. We talk for days--I dare someone to try and get a word in edgewise--probably won't happen. We can talk about anything and occasionally even think eachother's thoughts. I really knew we were tight we shared American Idol picks (Go Blake!)Husbands are awesome, but there is nothing like a girlfriend to brighten your day!

Daddies

2007-05-04T04:56:00.000-05:00

My 6th graders and I are reading "A Wrinkle in Time" in class and had a really interesting discussion about the main character. She is struggling with the disappearance of her father, and it was so sad to see how many of my students could identify with her. Many of them confessed to worrying about a father they had not seen in years. Others talked about fathers who lived nearby but were rarely involved in their lives. One even told a story of waiting for ten years to finally meet his father.

This week, my husband Nate celebrated his birthday and I reflected on how lucky I am to have him. I have a great husband! But now I am doubly thankful because Scarlett has such an adoring daddy who can not wait to spend time with her and brings a smile to her face every day!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

2007-04-26T05:04:00.000-05:00

Well Nate and I figured if we aren't getting any sleep, we might as well have fun while we are awake. We got a little reminder of home as we cheered the Red Sox on in their 6-1 victory over the O's! Scarlett was amazed by the first three innings and then slept through the rest. (This gave her just enough energy to wake for 2 hours at 2:30 am!!) Go Sox!

Just a stage

2007-04-25T14:44:00.000-05:00

Well I have composed so many cute blog entries in my mind that I have not posted. Man, they would have been great. I wanted to write about so many things, but I haven't.

I have not been accomplishing much lately. I have also not been sleeping much lately. Scarlett has been up about every two hours for a few nights. Naps are a thing of the past (thank the Jumpy seat for this entry!)
But I only have 1 more week of my first grad. class--I have finished my first research paper in years! My huge stack of ungraded papers is slightly smaller (with some help from an AWESOME sister). And best of all, 35 more days of school!!! I have been to the gym 4 times a week for the last three weeks (SO sore). I even left Scarlett with my mom overnight for the first time and went to a wedding and had a great time.

So my house is a mess--Scarlett's first pea-eating attempt: a tableau of green hilarity still evidenced in the kitchen, my luggage from the night away: vomiting all over the living room floor, mail: scattered, towels: unfolded, surfaces: undusted. Spring cleaning? Well lets just say that it has been a long winter!

I have come to the conclusion that a good day is one where I am patient enough with my students (especially the naughty ones) that they learn something, Scarlett has fun and feels loved, and Nate and I spend a few minutes together. Anything more is bonus!

Go Penguins

2007-04-03T05:09:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday Scarlett stayed out past her bedtime to enjoy her first NHL game. Her favorite moment: the flashing lights. Least favorite moment: when everyone screamed and cheered. All in all she had a blast!

Luckiest girl in the world

2007-03-27T11:16:00.000-05:00

Every Monday evening I have grad school and it is definitely not my favorite thing to do. Nate and Scarlett are hangin' out together, not writing boring papers, while I toil away. Last night, tired and hungry, I was amazed to see that Nate was preparing the most beautiful and delicious pizza I had ever seen. It was piled high with three inches of yummy Greek toppings and tasted like a 3 week Mediteranian vacation! He was able to prepare this despite Scarlett's bad temper (justifiably so--she just had her shots) and dangerously low kitchen supplies (still haven't made it to the grocery store). It put Papa John's to shame. I often tease Nate becasue he makes the most elaborate and tasty meals, but can take hours to prepare and the kitchen could be condemned afterwards. But I am going to shut my mouth from now on!! Gone are the days of Hamburger Helper!! (By the way, he may have made a mess, but left a spotless kitchen.) I am the luckiest girl in the world to have married Nate. Now if I could show a little self control and quit hogging the pizza, it'd be great. (I don't know how to quit you, pizza)

And of course it is time for another Scarlett picture...our big girl is now in the 95th percentile for both height and weight!

Ahhh Spring

2007-03-26T12:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got so excited for spring that I began my garden! I started my little seeds in their trays and put some bright yellow Pansies on the front porch. Now I will water my little trays of dirt as I eagerly wait for the miraculous green sprouts. There is something so rewarding about watching a seed become a plant! Then when it bears fruit it is the best tasting food there ever was. This year I will have tomatoes, cucumbers and greens. I am already imagining that first salad of the summer when I can proudly say, "I grew those!"

Birthdays

2007-03-24T19:36:00.001-05:00

I just celebrated my 28th birthday. I still had to work. I still had to grocery shop and make dinner. I didn't get to wear a paper hat, feather boa, or a party dress.

But my students made me a card and gave me a new pencil sharpener and a candle.

I got to talk to my mom, my sister and my best friend all in one day.

Nate gave me a chocolate cake, staple gun (that I asked for) and my favorite perfume--Chanel No5 (that I would never ask for). He also delivered a card from Scarlett that made me cry.

All in all I had a great day. Especially when I realized that soon I could plan birthday parties for Scarlett that involved paper hats, feather boas and party dresses!

By the way, check me out rockin' the Dorothy Hammil haircut on my Ronald McDonald birthday!

2007-03-11T13:39:00.001-05:00

Rolling over and other tricks

2007-03-11T12:30:00.001-05:00

With great pride, I watched Scarlett roll over for the first time the other day. It had been a bad day, with my car not starting, tow truck driver getting lost, boss observing me in class (while my cell rang 3 times), arguing with service managers about why they should come pick me up at work, and spit-up down my dress. When I finally made it home from work with Scarlett, we just laid out the blanket and relaxed. My head was pounding and I was absorbed by the stress of the day. Then Scarlett rolled over, and I cheered and she laughed and did it again and again. She even did it for me on video! Instantly all of the pressure of the day was gone and remembered that my most important job--motherhood--was going just fine and the boss seemed pretty pleased. Watch Scarlett roll over!!

2007-02-25T19:57:00.001-05:00

"Give Peace a chance!"

The infectious spirit of an earlier era takes over as Scarlett dons denim for the first time.

that elusive sleep

2007-02-25T19:57:00.000-05:00

Scarlett......Happy to be awake!

I admit it, I am one of those moms that reads everything there is to know about raising a baby. Magazines, books, websites--I read it all. Part of it is because I have a lot of time when I am nursing--there's not much else to do at 3 a.m. The other part is that somewhere inside me I harbor the hope that there are "tricks" or methods to getting through things like sleep deprivation. You know it--when your eyelids are lead weights and thoughts swim round in your head like half-dead fish circling the drain.

Some moms tell you their child is 45 and still needs to nurse twice a night. These mothers depress you as you pray your child won't be like that. Other mothers tell you their children were sleeping through the night after a couple of weeks. These babies are such good sleepers that they actually gently caress their mothers to sleep each night. These reports are equally depressing as you wonder what you are doing wrong.

The hot topic these days is teaching your baby to self-soothe. This almost always involves putting your baby to sleep awake and allowing them to cry for some period of time. This weekend we tried some of these techniques. We failed. The best evidence being the fact that Scarlett is in my lap asleep right now. Its not our fault, really. She fell asleep nursing. So what am I supposed to do, wake her up to put her to bed? Also, I am weak. I am unable to listen to 10 minutes of her crying.

I think the articles should just be honest--your baby is going to deprive you of sleep for a long time. Don't get your hopes up. Appreciate the times when you sleep for 4 hours in a row and muddle through the times when 2 straight hours are all you are going to get.
I know a lot of adults who still can't self-soothe, so how is my little baby?!?

The First Boo-Boo

2007-02-11T20:53:00.000-05:00

As a new mom, one of the most frightening things is your precious baby getting hurt or sick in any way. When my little Scarlett got her first shots, I had to fight not to cry. I told everyone that I was switching doctors. Of course I now see that she was just keeping my baby healthy, but at the time I couldn't believe that someone would make my baby cry like that.

This morning, I saw that Scarlett had given herself a little scratch on her nose, so I decided to cut her nails. She was sleeping and I trimmed them all. Then I decided that the pointer finger was not short enough. I was wrong. This time I clipped the tinniest little bit of skin off, and my poor baby awoke with a mighty strong wail that lasted and lasted. She had real tears springing out of her eyes and looked at me as if she would never get over this hurt.

I cleaned off the blood and soothed her and put on a band-aid that looks out of place on her perfect, delicate little finger. I cried and tried to tell myself that I am not the worst mom ever and that Scarlett could forgive me. But that big band-aid is a reminder.

Scarlett will probably get hurt many more times in her life, and I may even be the unintentional cause of more little boo-boos. SHe may not have a perfect mommy, but she does have one who will always be there to kiss her and tell her that it will be okay.