As a new mom, one of the most frightening things is your precious baby getting hurt or sick in any way. When my little Scarlett got her first shots, I had to fight not to cry. I told everyone that I was switching doctors. Of course I now see that she was just keeping my baby healthy, but at the time I couldn't believe that someone would make my baby cry like that.
This morning, I saw that Scarlett had given herself a little scratch on her nose, so I decided to cut her nails. She was sleeping and I trimmed them all. Then I decided that the pointer finger was not short enough. I was wrong. This time I clipped the tinniest little bit of skin off, and my poor baby awoke with a mighty strong wail that lasted and lasted. She had real tears springing out of her eyes and looked at me as if she would never get over this hurt.
I cleaned off the blood and soothed her and put on a band-aid that looks out of place on her perfect, delicate little finger. I cried and tried to tell myself that I am not the worst mom ever and that Scarlett could forgive me. But that big band-aid is a reminder.
Scarlett will probably get hurt many more times in her life, and I may even be the unintentional cause of more little boo-boos. SHe may not have a perfect mommy, but she does have one who will always be there to kiss her and tell her that it will be okay.